Even when American Horror Story is bad … it ’s still pretty freakin ’ gravid .
Last night ’s Halloween special was really nothing special . Besides the winking Minotaur head , this whole episode was really just make for an experiment in Gif qualification . I mean why else would they have this :
ViaPanda Whale .
Hell , I ’m not complaining I could check Fiona try on hats and smoke cigarettes every day for 47 minutes . No really , that should be a channel . I would call it Smoking Hot Bitches . And every hour , on the hour , the latest Zooey Deschanel would be hoisted out , and offer up the tender side of her ashen underarms to classic bitches like Angela Bassett and Lange . In return , they would put out their cigarettes on her exposed limbs . AND SHE WOULD SAY THANK YOU .
So what DID we learn from this week ? Well , we learned that there ’s nothing chilling than a human beings with a accumulation of dolls :
- SHUDDER *
We also learned that the Witchy Council is made up a aggregation of former roll members from Will and Grace . This feels a little like straight citizenry doing gay , but went swinging aright back into reliable homosexual when the little one on the left wing started grouse about “ get me off of the bestseller inclination already . ” Aw , I count this is what it ’s like to live in LA .
But seriously , Leslie Allen Jordan is a treasure . A GEM . We receive you into the American Horror Story club . Here is your fancy hat and a cigarette .
allow ’s see , permit ’s see . We pick up that Fiona has been uncollectible for most of her lifetime , and the formerly delightful Dennis O’Hare slit his own tongue to save her magic hide . And now he ’s keep numb Madison in his doll way in her underwear . It is … disconcerting .
The backstory for Fiona was n’t terribly surprising . Neither was the war the writer ’s room has been slowly building up to . We ’re entirely in for witchy state of war , even if it mean zombies ( but really , zombi ? ? ? ) . undecomposed on AHS for at least attempting to twist this overdone behemoth into something more by sending Lalarie ’s own dead daughter after her . Cute . But over all , I ’m just rubbing my bridge player together salivating over the Craft - like witch showdown between Lange and Bassett . It ’s going to be so good .
And finally , it turns out Cordelia Foxx ’s husband is a no - unspoilt - cheating - so - and - so who killed that sexy redheader from the first time of year . I ’m hold out to be crazy steamed if Sarah Paulson ’s gorgeous face is now horribly cut up from the totally terrible bath acid flinging . That was totally left field , and truly horrific . Was this the ball of fire Halloween special we were have a bun in the oven ? Nay . But then again , Jessica Lange in a witch hat , ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ?
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